"When i lose myself, I think of you.."

2011-01-01T15:08:00.000+08:00

Moved

http://foldededges.blogspot.com/
http://foldededges.blogspot.com/
http://foldededges.blogspot.com/
http://foldededges.blogspot.com/
http://foldededges.blogspot.com/
http://foldededges.blogspot.com/
http://foldededges.blogspot.com/

2011-01-01T13:50:00.001+08:00

Hello everyone :D
Please support this blogshop :D

The clothes there are mad cheap!!!!!! :D

2010-12-30T01:07:00.002+08:00

28545.) I have a very hard time opening up to people, I feel like everyone is judging me. But there is one guy out of everyone in the world that I would tell everything and anything to.

For me, there was you. But now? FUCK THIS SHIT.
I'm rather disappointed, and sad. Maybe hurt.....
You don't even try... to at least prove me wrong.
Well, I'm not making any fucking sense.
But I hate this feeling.
AND IT FUCKING HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

2010-12-29T15:55:00.000+08:00

I feel like shit damn.
Thanks to you.

2010-12-27T15:34:00.002+08:00

It's Christmas... and this little cat is all alone :(
Who can be a kind soul and adopt it??????
It'd be the best x'mas present for me!!!
It's at 17 Jalan Klapa..
No worries, the cat is clean.. It was dumped by the previous owner!
Some kind of owner huh?
I hope someone adopt it already!
I'll adopt it, but I'm not allowed to keep pets in my house! :(

2010-12-24T00:09:00.001+08:00

http://mitchalbom.com/d/journalism/7012/pastors-second-act-and-blessed-life-ends-too-soon

R.I.P. :(

2010-12-21T04:14:00.000+08:00

I wish we can all be together..

2010-12-20T03:56:00.002+08:00

Christmas is coming.
I made Christmas cards for my beloved friends, yes, they look kiddy, but that's what I want.
haha. Hopefully they wouldn't think it's awful!
Flying back to sg in a few hours time.
Gonna miss here badly.. Sigh...

2010-12-19T03:02:00.003+08:00

I had one of the most amazing day in my life..
Hanging out at KFC with my dad at 3 in the morning..
heading to the sea at the evening for Jet Ski.
It was my first time trying it out, It was awesome!!!!
Best sunset ever :)

2010-12-17T20:07:00.002+08:00

For a second or so I felt like screaming my head off.
I think I'm really crazy, madly obsessed with you.

2010-12-17T16:45:00.002+08:00

You are happy right now..
I should be happy for you.
I know I am, but a part of me feels like crying....

2010-12-15T03:20:00.002+08:00

SMOOVE 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY. A X'MAS PARTY @ ZIRCA ON 23 DEC
Tgt with DJ Inquisitive, DJ Rattle & EMCEE S.O.F

Tickets @ $25 ONLY!!!

Contact me at fb/elliskusumo@hotmail.com/98689408 to get the tickets :D

2010-12-15T03:02:00.003+08:00

Dear you,
Six months, that's all it takes to keep me waiting for a year.
Everything felt like it just happened yesterday.
It's really amazing, how someone could be the reason for my change.
I did not change myself for you, but for me.
When you were gone, I've learnt so many things.
I wished you could see me right now, and tell me that you're very proud of me.
I remember everything about you.
Your eyes, your smile, your dimples (what I love most about you).
It's the good memories that hurts. Surprisingly, the bad ones doesn't hurt that much compared to the good ones.
I have no idea how long I'd carry on waiting..
Please don't keep me waiting for too long.
Love, Me.

2010-12-14T00:56:00.000+08:00

Llama llama llama~

2010-12-13T01:11:00.003+08:00

"There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well. So I'll take the memories as they come, accepting them all, letting them guide me whenever I can."

- A walk to remember

2010-12-10T19:01:00.002+08:00

原谅别人是美德，
那原谅自己是什么呢？

2010-12-10T01:42:00.002+08:00

Insomnia.
It was 5.30 am in the morning and I was wide awake.
Everyone was all asleep.
I heard the rooster crowing, my dad was snoring, my brother was sleeping like a dead log.
I finally fell asleep (somehow), but I woke up at 7 am apparently. When I opened my eyes, the first thing that came to my mind was "who the fuck turned on the light", bloody hell, it was morning. My dad was still snoring, my brother was still sleeping like a dead log, my mom was preparing for work.
Took me an hour to fall asleep.
Sleepless nights. I can literally die if this goes on.

2010-12-07T03:02:00.000+08:00

Kill me.
Take a knife and stab me hard.

2010-12-07T02:05:00.000+08:00

I learnt from literature that xenophobia is an illness or perhaps a disease. It actually meant fear of strangers or foreigners.
Some time back, Xiao Ying Ying (Vanessa) told me about the fear of the number 666. It's called Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia.
That's when this whole phobia thing started to interest me.
So I googled it and there's a long list of these illness/diseases called The Phobia List.
Wow, I'm absolutely amazed by it.

This is the list of my phobias.
Acrophobia- Fear of heights
Aeroacrophobia- Fear of open high places
Atelophobia- Fear of imperfection (somehow)
Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself
Bufonophobia- Fear of toads (god damn, they are gross)
Emetophobia- Fear of vomiting (I can't stand people vomiting right in front or beside me, neither can I stand myself vomiting, yuck)
Herpetophobia- Fear of reptiles or creepy, crawly things (flying too)
Odontophobia- Fear of teeth or dental surgery
Pyrophobia- Fear of fire (even though I used to be a smoker)
Rupophobia- Fear of dirt
Zelophobia- Fear of jealousy (I never like the feeling of being jealous)

I'm pretty sure I have a lot more but I'm way too lazy to list it down.
You can check it out at http://phobialist.com/

Till next time!

2010-12-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

Nothing beats a day covered with clothes to keep me warm from the chilly wind and enjoying ice-cream.

Anyhow,

I would love to go there if I ever have the chance.
More pictures and credit to : http://www.jesslovesfred.com/2010/12/el-ateneo.html

2010-12-05T23:30:00.002+08:00

Christmas is coming. Are you excited?

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to youuuuuu,

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday Bryan and chanel!

2010-12-04T00:02:00.000+08:00

I ate too much for today's dinner.. But the desserts were awesome.
Shopping tomorrow!

2010-12-03T03:25:00.001+08:00

You were the reason for my change.
I can't believe I still miss you.

credit: http://factsaboutyou.tumblr.com

2010-11-29T20:07:00.004+08:00

Happiness.. Who in the world would know what happiness is without sufferings?
Happiness is the absence of sufferings.

So I ask you......

Who do you live for?
What do you live for?

2010-11-28T23:54:00.003+08:00

My fringe is screwed. My fringe is screwed. My fringe is screwed.
-
-
-
Damn.

2010-11-25T20:08:00.006+08:00

She sells sea shells on the sea shore;

The shells that she sells are sea shells I'm sure.

So if she sells sea shells on the sea shore,

I'm sure that the shells are sea shore shells.

2010-11-24T22:03:00.005+08:00

I feel hungry just by looking at the pictures of the food even though I just had my dinner.
Superdog + liquorice = heaven
Poor Vanessa had to carry my stuffs for me. Oh, I feel real bad.
Ha ha.
So basically, I haven't been feeling well these few days (yesterday and today, to be exact)
Well, that's because stupid me had been stuffing jellies, chocolates and snacks into my mouth..
And I haven't been drinking water.
Ok, ECP tomorrow :)

2010-11-24T01:27:00.002+08:00

Dear Santa,
I want these for Christmas!!!!

I want boots too!!!!!

Yours Sincerely,
Ellis Kusumo

pictures from nastygal and tumblr :)

Cherish

2010-11-22T22:05:00.004+08:00

The regrets trickle in. Can't make it this year. Too much going on. Airfare too high. Work is crazy.

Once, missing Thanksgiving was unthinkable. But "once" was a long time ago.

Now there are reasons. Good reasons. At least on paper. This one has a high school reunion. This one just changed jobs. This one is moving houses. This one can't find a dog sitter.

They are all being honest. Their lives are busy. Then here comes Thanksgiving and they're asked to screech and halt?

And Thanksgiving in our family is a commitment, I admit. We've been hosting it for years, for upwards of 50 relatives and lifelong friends. It goes like this: the arrival meal (Wednesday), the holiday meal (Thursday), the leftover meal (Friday), the restaurant meal (Saturday) and the farewell meal (Sunday morning). In between comes talking, slouching, sleeping, eating, talking, eating, shopping, eating.

At least it used to be that way.

In recent years, the holiday has been shaved, like one of those giant wedding cakes that slowly gets sliced away. "It's cheaper to fly on Thursday," they say, so they come Thanksgiving morning. "It's cheaper to go home Saturday," they say, so they leave a day earlier. Someone needs to work on Friday -- "They're making everyone come in," they say -- and so another chair goes empty.

They are all being honest.

The turkey sighs.

Adapted from http://mitchalbom.com/news/node/6965/The_Turkey_Shrinks_As_the_Absences_Grow (Click on the link to read more)

Well, something hit me when I was reading this article that Mitch wrote.
I know, we don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Singapore.
Some do, but I can assure you that I don't.
So... I was thinking.. This situation probably happens to everyone. Be it Thanksgiving or not.
I don't understand, what could be more important than your family?
Will it kill to spend a day with your love ones?
Don't wait until the day is gone, cherish it now.

2010-11-22T21:55:00.000+08:00

-
-
-
Fuck ya all bitches!

2010-11-22T21:00:00.000+08:00

Best birthday cake ever, even though it's made of cream. (I hate cream)
Thank you my dear friends :)

2010-11-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

我想你不知道是你改变了我。
你让我看到这世界的美丽。
我不知道你会不会记得我，但是我会永远地记得你。
你对我的好，你对我的了解，你怎么哄我开心，你怎么安慰我。
你总是有方法弄我开心，你总是有方法让我不再难过。
你所给我的快乐是无法取代的。
就算我们现在在不同的世界里，我还是觉得很高兴，因为我认识了你。
I've never stop thinking about you..

2010-11-18T19:52:00.003+08:00

You may be an ass, but I like it.

You: My only advice is choose the path that makes you happy even if it hurts others.
You: You see, I'm an asshole. I always do things that makes me happy.
You: I don't give a shit about others, so do things that keep u happy and screw the rest.
Me: You're an ass. Ha ha, but you see, I don't feel happy if they are not happy only if they means a lot to me, but I'm not really sure if they do.
Me: Anyhow, love your advice, screw them.

You've just said the most amazing things to me..

You're different, I like it.

2010-11-18T19:21:00.000+08:00

Thank you my dear friends, for celebrating my birthday today :)
Well, I was really surprised by my dear friends who came to my house without informing me to celebrate my birthday. Thank you girls. Love ya all ♥
Dear mickey,
Isn't your new girlfriend awesome?? And yes, I love her more than you.
Know why?? That's because she's filled with jellies and chocolates! ♥

2010-11-17T23:11:00.000+08:00

I've been staring at this page for quite sometime and I kept backspacing what I had wrote..
Well, where should I start?
Hm..
I'm not furious, I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I'm not happy.
I don't have an exact word to describe my feeling right now, but I can assure you that It suck.
We can't control life. We can't control what's happening right now, or what just happened.
We can't change the past.
But.. we can control our thoughts, our mindset. It's your choice whether to face the certain situation positively or negatively.
Well, what can I do?
I.....

will not give up
will stand up again
will learn from my mistakes
will not cry
will not whine
will be strong
will not run
will face it

I hope you'll be strong too. Don't run away, face it.
Remember you'll always be loved.

I'll always support you.

2010-11-16T22:39:00.006+08:00

My birthday was celebrated 3 times already.
Early celebration, but anyhow, thank you guys, love you guys a lot!!!!
And yes!! Tako balls! When was the last time I had it other than today? Hmmm...
Damn, they closed down the one at bishan. I used to have it everyday with shumin..
Good old times aye? Ha ha!!

Thank you very much.. :)

Oh yes, not forgetting this drawing that mummy loh drew for me. he he.

2010-11-14T15:19:00.002+08:00

I've fibbed, and you'll never know why.

2010-11-12T22:55:00.002+08:00

Rush to cine to meet my class mates. Stay for half an hour and rush over to NUS and stay for half an hour and then rush over to hospital, stay for half an hour too. Waste $$$ on cab. Such a tedious day, but I had fun :)

2010-11-12T14:50:00.004+08:00

I had been thinking a lot lately..
I was isolating myself away from others.
Life is simple. I have choices, whether to live it positively or on the other hand, negatively.
I had chose to live it negatively, getting bothered by every single thing that is happening around me.
Something hit me today, we can't control lives, we can't control what's happening around us.
likewise we can't stop them from happening either..
I learnt not to take life too serious.
Life is a joke at times..
Frankly speaking, I am the only one bothered by it, and no one else is.
It's time to put the past behind me and live life simply and spontaneously.
It's been a tedious year.. Time to put it all behind me..

I'm glad I've known you in the times of our live. I don't know what would I be without you, so thank you.. Even though I know you don't read this space of mine anymore.. You used to, but not anymore.. but thanks anyhow.. :)

2010-11-11T12:46:00.006+08:00

My mood was spoiled early in the morning..
So this is what happened.......

Grandpa: *Knocked on his own room door for a couple of times
Me: *Continued looking at my computer screen
Grandpa: *Opened his door and looked at me and said: I knocked the door for such a LONG time why didn't YOU RESPOND??? Call your sister here *Slam the door (REAL HARD)

In conclusion, what I was trying to say was HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW that he is calling me or my sis WHEN HE IS KNOCKING HIS OWN DOOR??!!!!! If he had the time to do all the knocking, why can't he just open his door and call for us?!

2010-11-07T21:42:00.002+08:00

Vivo with xyy, shir and josh today!
Thanks xyy for your gift :)
And yes!! I have a great night yesterday, no dreams, no anything ;)
I like that.

2010-11-07T00:24:00.005+08:00

This few days haven't been nice to me..
To add on, it's just the start of November..
I wonder what's in store for me in the future..
As you can see in my pictures, my eye bags are coming back..
Yes, I haven't been sleeping well the past few days. I cried myself to sleep, I woke up crying all the time..
That's how terrified I am okay.
This isn't a joke.
I'm glad I have my family and friends to make me feel better.
Shirley, and that little fellow over there in the last photo, Vanessa, always there for me. Joker, always sense that there was something wrong, Wenmin, Han, Mummy Loh, Tim (sean), Davin, even wenjie.

All I like to say is thank you guys.. I love you guys.
I hope I'll have a good night today.. Really..
Till next time :)

2010-11-05T15:07:00.000+08:00

Now I really feel it, a needle piercing thru me. I couldn't breathe for a moment. I was numb. My head was pounding real hard. The pain in me is creasing.. No one could stop it. No one could soothe me. I might as well be dead than alive.

Where do I stand now?

Where am I?
What am I?
Who am I?

2010-10-31T00:26:00.007+08:00

Happy Halloween!

Had a great time with Parry, Jhing Ruong and xinying today :)
Met new friends today.
Oh, they sure are friendly!!

P.S. Happy birthday~

2010-10-27T20:27:00.001+08:00

Everything's gone.
Are you happy now, Ellis?
I mean seriously??
You suck. Go to hell, Ellis Kusumo.

Pancakes 4 u??

2010-10-26T17:37:00.002+08:00

2010-10-25T21:57:00.001+08:00

3E2 '10 BBQ 22 Oct 2010
I was forced to take this picture by winona and median. Good job guys. Haha

2010-10-24T22:35:00.003+08:00

We were playing a game on seeing who can post the longest without moving on webcam.
So Clever Ellis put webcam on pause, and this is what xyy said...

wait
1. must get most comfy
2. .... I see your pose now so serious
3. can u stop being so serious!!!!
whats ur freaking prob?!?!??!?!?!

So.. What can you infer from this?
She's dumb :)

Me: You're a dick.
Guy: I'm not a dick.
Guy: But I have a dick.
Me: Oh really? Since when?
Guy: Are you mentally fucktarded or something?
Me: Screw you. You're a dick.

2010-10-23T21:59:00.005+08:00

Flea @ Scape with xinying. It was fine.

So pretty!!
source: wwww.lookbook.nu/

You can't just take the pain away, you know??

2010-10-20T22:02:00.001+08:00

So pretty! I want to get one of these!!!!

2010-10-19T22:48:00.002+08:00

It's coming back..
Took me awhile to get it off..
It's coming back right now..
It's increasing every second..
I'm weird, am I?
I'm different..
Is that a good thing or a bad thing??

2010-10-17T12:29:00.001+08:00

Should i change my link?

2010-10-12T11:49:00.001+08:00

DL! ^^
I miss hanging out with you!! Must go shop during hols hor!

2010-10-10T18:40:00.002+08:00

Thanks for being the one there for me when no one else is!~

2010-10-02T14:33:00.005+08:00

What's gonna happen if we both stop trying??

For the one that understand me the most,

Thank you.. For listening to me..

Thank you, for giving me advices ( They really help a lot!! )

Thank you, for being there for me all the time..

I have so much things to say..

No word can describe how glad am I to have a sister/friend like you!!

Can't wait for exams to end..

We have so so so many plans.. :)

Love,

Ellis

2010-09-30T19:26:00.003+08:00

Chances.
I believe everyone deserve a second chance.. No one is flawless.. Everyone make mistakes..
I was given many chances, but I still can't bring out that courage in me to do it..
I'm such a failure..
I'm starting to withdraw..

I promise that I will never forget you.. Not now, not ever..

2010-09-29T21:28:00.001+08:00

You change, a lot..
You said that I don't understand you anymore?
What do you mean by the "new" you?
You wouldn't let anyone in your heart?
GO AHEAD.
No worries, I'll stay out of your life.

2010-09-27T17:58:00.003+08:00

Dear Guardian Angel..

Thank you.. for being there for me all the time..
Thank you.. for helping me when I was bullied..
I wonder what I'll do without you..
Thank you.. for cheering me up when I was down..
Thank you very very much..
I really hope you'll be there to protect me forever.. But I can't be greedy..
You need to find your own happiness too..
Thank you..
I do like you, to the extend of wanting to be your best friend forever and ever..

Love,

Ellis Kusumo

2010-09-21T16:27:00.004+08:00

I've used to complain how fuck-ed up my class is.
Truth is, it doesn't suck, I just simply don't fit in.
But then again, I did have fun with them during P.E. Games like Frisbee, Floor ball, etc.
I realise that the problem lies within me.
There are really nice people around.. And helpful (most of the time) :) except a few..

These few days had been hard for me, but yet at the same time, I am glad.. I'm glad to have friends who care about me.. :)
Thank you..
And of course, those people that are there for me all the time..
Thank you.. :)
I don't know what else to say other than thank you..
I've learnt something else today.. I've learnt to look at things from another angle.. Never assume anything when you don't even know anything..

This is rather true.. http://mitchalbom.com/d/content/article/6877/feeling-poor-more-common-ever
Do read if you have the time.. :)

2010-09-18T13:42:00.013+08:00

"He had a way of looking you in the eye and making you feel the world had stopped and you were all that was in it.." -Have a little faith

There's something in your eyes that made me lose myself..

That's probably one of the reason why I lose myself..
Dear you,

2010-09-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
XOXO

2010-09-06T17:33:00.004+08:00

Got to pull up my socks..
S.T.U.D.Y

2010-08-30T11:48:00.004+08:00

I'll hold on to this moment..

You're right.. Does anyone really listen anymore??

Dear Matos,
We are drifting away..
Can't anyone of you feel it?
We are sisters, remember?
But tell you something, I won't let this happen, i will do whatever it takes to pull us back together.. :)

Dear Vanessa Yeo Xin Ying,
We had done so so so much things together..
I don't know how to live a day without you, because we hang out everyday, you're like my medicine, die die also need one (sound erxin, but i mean it)
I love laughing and doing silly things with you, IT'S FUN OKAY!
Teehee. I don't know what's going on between us now, but i feel the distance..
I'm gonna do something about it, well, i don't know what yet, but i'll figure something out.. :)

Dear Oh Jhing Ruong,
BAMBOO! HAHAHAHA, okay, we got closer this year, and yes, you mean a lot to me too.. :) everyone in matos means a lot to me..
We do have conflicts, but I'm so glad things work out fine in the end, i love spending time with you in class, laughing at almost everything esp. Keith's priceless face! hahaha! :)

Dear Lam Lao Ren,
HAHAHAHAHA, i miss hanging out with you.. We drifted this year, i know :(
I miss hanging out with you a lot!!!! Must hang out more horrrrrrrrr! :D
HAHAHA, rmb my mom spent 1 hour looking at hairbands, HAHAHAHA, damn hilarious okay! hehehe! last long with keith ah! :)

Dear Tan Wenmin,
HIHIHIHIHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss SMO with you during sat mornings :( Awww, miss those times, and yes, we got closer this year, a lot :) Thanks for making my day :) teehee!!!!!!!!! Meet you in the morning tomorrow laaaaaaaaa, hehe~

Dear Charmaine ZHUning,
HI Z-H-U ning! You ah, forever careless and clumsy! But i love that careless and clumsy you! You never fail to make my day! hahaha! I love taking your unglam, your face forever priceless one :P HAHAHAHAHA :D

Dear Szeting,
You ah, must talk more okieeeeeee!!!! Anything must say lei, don't down there diam diam, keep everything to yourself :( Rmb, Matos will be there for you, WE ARE SISTERS, SISTERS LEI, we will be there for you no matter what happens :)

Dear Tracy Lo,
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!! Wl, we don't hang out that much compare to last year liao lei :( HAHAHA, but we'll be there for you if you need anything :)
HEHE! don't keep things to yourself hor :)

Matos outing soon? :)

2010-08-29T17:56:00.002+08:00

"When you give, you get"
Am I not giving enough?
Am I not doing enough?
I did put in effort..
So why am I feeling this way??
It's amazing, how someone could be so important to you that you're willing to do anything for that person, and yet, you're not even anything to that person.
Amazing isn't it?
So to whoever it may concern, FUCK YOU!

2010-08-28T19:43:00.002+08:00

I'm too tired to carry on..
I'm done with this..
I don't see why i should hold on.
Bye.

2010-08-26T22:37:00.002+08:00

I don't feel anything this time round..
I don't know if i'm immune to the pain or i'm used to it..
Is that i good sign or a bad sign??
I'm willing to take away your pain if i could,
I'm sorry..
You're better off without me..
Thanks for being there for me this whole time when i needed somebody..
Thanks for being my bestfriend..
I'm sorry, for not being there for you when you needed me..
I'm sorry, for not being able to take the pain away from you..
I'm sorry, for hurting you..
I'm sorry, for keeping you..
I'm sorry, for being greedy..
I'm sorry, for lying to you..
I'm sorry..............

2010-08-22T19:38:00.003+08:00

The world's changing, people are changing.. every thing's changing..
I've got to admit that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired..
Things change, people change, nothing stays the same in life..
I wonder what's gonna happen if we all stop trying..
But I'll still give it my all in everything that i do, even though i feel like giving up at times, even though i feel so hopeless at times..
Well, i don't really know.. just short of that spark right now..

2010-08-21T20:27:00.002+08:00

I can do almost anything.. with you..

Had a great day with Xin Ying :)
Flea was a disappointment :(

2010-08-15T20:01:00.001+08:00

What can i say?
I don't even have the right to say anything..
I fibbed..
No.. It's not okay..

2010-08-14T17:38:00.002+08:00

I spent half of my afternoon on bed thinking about how bad my day went today,
and the other half of my afternoon dreaming how things turns out great in the end..

For love,
"Love - the infatuation kind - 'he's so handsome, she's so beautiful' - that can shrivel. As soon as something goes wrong, that kind of love can fly out the window..
On the other hand, a true love can enrich itself. It gets tested and grows stronger.."

"Twenty good minutes here, forty good minutes there, it adds up to something beautiful. The trick is when things aren't so great, you don't junk the whole thing. it's okay to have an arguement. It's okay that the other one nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It's part of being close to someone.."

- Have a little faith by Mitch Albom

2010-08-12T18:32:00.008+08:00

National day :D

Had terrible nights for the past few days..
Had been waking up in the middle of the night for countless times and countless days..
I could actually wake up at 2 in the morning and thinking that it's 6 in the morning..
I have no idea what's going on..
sigh..

I will wait for the rainbow.. :)

2010-08-09T12:46:00.007+08:00

YOG

Been so long since i had so much.. It felt great.. :)
Thanks guys, for the amazing day.. :)

I'm glad that you've been good.. :)

2010-08-06T18:27:00.004+08:00

Not loving you is harder than you know..

I think that you should reflect on yourself rather than complaining.
If you want to play this game, YOU'RE SO ON!

mickey lollipop ^^

wl, van and wm bully me!

Cute right? :D so small~

I will wait for the rainbow,. :)

2010-08-02T18:46:00.003+08:00

A dream that seems so real,
a dream that had your face all over it.
I was hoping for it to last,
I never want to wake up.
I want to dream about you all day long,
and the last thing i know, i was bought back into reality..

2010-07-31T19:18:00.002+08:00

A moment like this.. :)
I was lying on the pool, looking at the sky.
The water was calm.. The sky was cloudless..
At that point in time, my mind was completely empty and calm..
It felt as though the earth stopped spinning, the time stopped moving..
I felt alone, completely alone.. It felt good..
I asked god, hoping that 'that moment' would last, but soon after, a "pail of water" was splashed on me, and i was bought back into reality..

2010-07-31T13:30:00.002+08:00

No sign of hints, no sign of anything.. Just nothing..
Things were getting better eventually, and just when i was about to give up (like seriously), you came back..
Just for a second or two, and leave again..
I'm not gonna make a fool of myself, trying and putting in the effort to get things right again and again.. and obviously getting nothing back in return..
You have no idea, how long I've waited, and when i was just about to leave, you came back, and you did a great job, in making my heart sink, because you left again..
So now I'll carry on waiting, because i still believe, that you'll be back again..
I will, wait for the rainbow..

2010-07-24T23:44:00.003+08:00

TOWN

HILARIOUS, LOVE TODAY.
K, BUAI~

2010-07-18T12:06:00.013+08:00

FLEA :D

Flea was bad in the begining, but it turns out fine at the end of the day :)

THE THINGS ARE DAMN HEAVY LO!

Those little thingy things you do, and words you said, really soothe me..
Left with so little time and so much things to say and do..
I should just forget about it.
SNAP OUT OF IT ELLIS!

2010-07-16T21:45:00.003+08:00

You used to soothe me..

Thank you, for making me feel alive again.. :)

I've been wondering, what if one day i can't think anymore?
What if i can't remember anything that have ever happened in my life?..
I don't know what's wrong with me..
What's with my sudden change in mood, sudden change in attitude?
Why don't i have any idea what i am actually thinking right now?
My mind's like a blank paper right now..
I guess, i'm probably just too tired..

2010-07-11T20:07:00.005+08:00

A sense of belonging..

This ring nice right? :)

Till next time.. :)

2010-07-09T20:32:00.002+08:00

I have no idea what hit me recently..
It's like i have no idea what i'm thinking anymore..
I like the idea of not being alone, so why did i chose to be alone?
I have no idea why i made that choice, because i was thinking, but i found myself thinking NOTHING..
I hate it when i often find myself picturing the 'perfect moment' and strive for perfection.
I know no one is perfect, no life is perfect, you have to live in the ups and downs and be content and appreciate what you have..
I know.. but why do i still find myself finding the 'perfect moment' instead of 'living in the moment'?

2010-06-30T20:39:00.003+08:00

There are many things i will never NEVER gonna understand in life.
I never understand why people often hurt others. Don't they know how much they would hurt one?
And for that, i will never understand why, no matter how hard i crack my brain or no matter how hard i find to understand why.
Have you ever felt that you had endure too much things, that you eventually break down one day? How you wish to hide in a corner, how you wish to be alone, and hide away that shame? How so many things came over to your mind, how you thought about how much you have endure for so so many years, and no one understand what you were feeling at that time?
How you hate those person who made you feel that way? I was told to make the best of it, and make them change their views in me and stop those insults, but again, i thought, even if i have change their view about me, will i be happy? Why don't i just be me?
I often asked myself, what am i? Who am i? What on earth am i here for? Sometimes i just don't understand myself. I just don't feel like me.. I often find myself finding for the 'perfect moments' instead of 'living in the moment'. I should really stop picturing perfect, because i will definitely be disappointed or furious if i do not have that 'perfect moment'. I should stop editing myself. I live for myself, not for others. Why hate? It doesn't make you feel any happier? It doesn't make that person life any worse either.. I find that i care about other people's view on me, and how i will edit myself to change their view, but then again, i should not, because i live for myself.. :)

2010-06-23T02:28:00.001+08:00

Love his books a lot.. :)

2010-06-20T22:37:00.012+08:00

The most familiar stranger

went to cibubur (idk) some fruit garden, lol!

The grape, durian and cow are hilarious and cute, esp the grape~ kept calling my name and dance with the durian~ It's amazing how strangers could made my day :)
"Strangers are just people you have yet to know"- The five people you meet in heaven, i like he whole idea behind it, like how strangers had made my day with their silly movements and voices :)
For instant, your friends, or good friends, or even best friends, are just the most familiar strangers you have ever known. you are indeed one of them, g..

see, lion~

see, whale~

Those memories, are probably just an illusion, but they aren't.. Those thoughts, kept coming to my mind.. If there's one thing i could had asked you, i would asked, "what is happiness to you?"..

If only i had the chance to.. sigh.. like morphine, you soothe me, i missed how you used to make my day, a lot, my most familiar stranger..

2010-06-16T02:50:00.001+08:00

YOUR WORDS JUST BRIGHTEN UP MY DAY :)
THANK YOU VERY MUCH! i wish those words were said by you, g..

2010-06-16T00:38:00.013+08:00

Feels like home

off to Bandung for 2 days with my mom, bro, shirley and her family :) The scence there is beautiful, but there's a weird smell there, that made me cough non-stop

it was raining and it's freaking cold okay!

The meat ball super big!

next day,

some fly suckig the jam on the bread?

rotten strawberries, lol!

i look stupid, lol!

it rained after we finish taking pic, lucky us ^^ and white smoke or cloud (whatever itis) covered the whole scence.

it rained when we reached the last destination and we only played flying fox ._.

and i got myself drenched, like totally drenched. haha i found another thing we have in common, we both love piano..

2010-06-07T02:39:00.002+08:00

I fibbed, and you never will know..
I'm glad someone else is there to make you smile which i had never did.
I'm glad I feel the pain now, because this pain is worth it, because i care, because it is better then not feeling anything.
I've chose to runaway, but i still see it.
Let go? I know, letting go is easy, but it depends on how one look at it, for me, it's never easy. Nothing is ever easy.
If i get to choose what i want, i will choose to let go, because i know, i'll never be the one to make you smile, and you will always be the one that made me smile.
I will just be another girl in your life, and you will be the guy i'll never forget.
Still, i wish you all the best. I'm trying my best.

2010-06-05T01:59:00.004+08:00

Should i say i'm disappointed or happy for you?
I don't really know how am i feeling right now.
It may seems like i don't care, but the truth is i really care a lot..
Maybe i'm slightly more on being disappointed, but look on the bright side, i should be happy, but i can't seems to be happy for you.
Maybe i need more time to accept this.
I.WILL.ACCEPT.THIS.
but technically, i don't know the truth, so am i just being paranoid?
But from what i see, it seems that it is the truth already, or i'm just being paranoid?
Now isn't the time for me to find out the truth, i don't really wanna know the truth, maybe because i'm afraid of getting hurt once more, so tell me, what should i do?

2010-05-31T11:43:00.026+08:00

Pictures of you, pictures of me
There's something i like about taking pictures especially on a special occasion.
I like the way how a camera capture those images, like how your brain capture it :)

28 may 2010, expo with Eleana, and changi

29 May, vivo with shir, josh, eric then bbq at rizky's house.

end this post with a hilarious pic of allan jordy :)
Happy fifteen tracy lo qing ren and Farewell Jiyeon, gonna miss you lots :(

2010-05-30T19:38:00.004+08:00

I never understood what human gain in insulting one person?
Is hurting and insulting someone that fun? esp people who you are close to?
I clearly don't understand why friends hurt each other, why betray? why lie? why insult? why hurt?
I will never understand why.
Why regret after what you have done?
What will you gain?
Will you be happy when you talk bad about that person?
What will you gain?
What will you loss?
Friendship most of the time, but why hate?
Why make your life so miserable?
Do you believe in karma?
Well, i do.

2010-05-28T13:19:00.002+08:00

"love takes many forms, and it is never the same for any man and woman"-the five people you meet in heaven

gonna meet Eleana gancb soon :)

2010-05-24T21:04:00.002+08:00

I never thought that i would actually talk back to you, but you are seriously immature and childish.

2010-05-23T20:04:00.002+08:00

Thanks for the memories.

aren't those smiley faces adorable? :)
what would you do? For love?

2010-05-23T09:59:00.002+08:00

Everyday, i dream of you.
It may be the worse nightmare, or a beautiful nightmare..
Something struck my mind when i was reading something, what am i?
Useless, you're willing to do so so so much for love, what about me? NOTHING, that's when i realise wishing for that moment isn't gonna work.
I thought i was trying in the past, but technically i did nothing at all..
Perhaps i DO NOT have the courage to do it, i need that courage..........................................
Do you remember?

2010-05-17T20:02:00.000+08:00

"I tried to move on. I really did. I tried to tell myself that you don’t want me and I can’t have you anymore. I tried so hard, but how can you let go of the only person who makes you happy? The only person who makes you feel alive? The only reason you’re still here? You just can’t let go of someone like that."

runawaytrain.tumblr

2010-05-14T13:57:00.002+08:00

I.WANNA.NOT.KNOW.ANYTHING.ABOUT.REALITY.
because it's gonna change my thinking, from a beautiful world to a fuck up world!

2010-05-09T12:13:00.003+08:00

Maybe things are meant to be this way.
Fate, i always believed i can change fate, but no matter how hard i tried, nothing is working, nothing is changing.
I doubt i can change my fate anymore, i should submit myself to fate.
well, i don't know
Maybe because i'm not trying hard enough
But all those effort i had put in, it's all futile.
I know, maybe i'm wrong, but i have this kind of weird feeling, that you are facing some problems in your life.
i'm glad many people are there for you, well me? All i can do is nothing.
I wanna do something for you, but.. nevermind
Guess i'm gonna try harder.
I believe, as long as it is worth having, it is worth trying, it is worth fighting.
there isn't any way for me to talk to you now, but i'm gonna try every possible ways to do so.

2010-05-04T19:57:00.002+08:00

"Cherish"
people often tends to cherish and change for the better once they had lost someone/something they love.
well, it's not surprising.
i wonder, why people only tends to wake up after losing something for REAL? Don't you think they are head-strong?
What if?, There will always be a lot of what if in life. What if, what if.. If "what if" really happens, i will be rich, i will have a perfect life, i will not learn to cherish, i will not learn the meaning of "contentment".
What for ponder over what you SHOULD have then pondering over what you had have or what you have?
Once again, think about how "rich" you are.
Count all the things you have in life that money can't buy.
Learn to cherish before they are gone.
You'll realise, you are the most fortunate person living on earth.
It matters on how to look at things, look at things from another angle, and maybe, or most probably, you'll learn to appreciate every single little things you have.

2010-05-03T15:47:00.001+08:00

Nice, Thanks a lot ALVAN CHER!
HAHAHAHAHA
but this picture sure makes me laugh!
hehe

2010-04-26T20:53:00.004+08:00

Well, couldn't agree more..
I'd expected this anyway, ever since the day you said that it WAS okay to fade, and YOU're strong, you can and will survive w/o friends.
I'd made the effort to salvage this friendship, DID you? no..
You said i wanted this? DID i?
I'll remember all those encouragement you gave me and support, yes, thank you.
But i guess, you don't need me anymore.
I can tell, when you see me, you don't have anything to talk to me about, don't you think so?
Today, you treated me invisible. Oh, NOT only you, the others too
Yeah yeah yeah, and i SERIOUSLY dislike people, esp WHO ARE CLOSE TO ME, to take revenge on me in order to make me feel they way you'd felt when i did the same to you?!! Can't you use your brain? The reason why i didn't tell you is because I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE telling you F.Y.I, not because i don't fucking trust you!
It's just a matter of time, we aren't that strong, we will go our own way eventually, and i think that it's time.
Thanks for everything, i had have a wonderful time with you girls.

AND F.Y.I, don't fucking ask me to cheerup, THIS IS MY BLOG, i post about what i'm thinking most of the time and NOT BECAUSE I AM SAD!